You Don’t Have To…
Riley Children's Grief Team
A lot of grieving individuals are given advice that begins with “You should…” The truth is, the only thing you have to do in this moment is just breath. When you lose a child, there is no checklist of items that need to be done in a certain time frame. Additionally, forcing yourself to do something you are not yet ready to do, and don’t have to do, can add additional trauma. Keep the following in mind:
- You do not have to make decisions quickly. It’s ok if you need to take several days or enlist the help of a trusted friend or family member.
- You do not have to minimize your grief. It’s ok to grieve the loss of your child.
- You don’t have to have a plan for what to do with your child’s belongings. Hold onto them and follow your heart.
- You don’t have to respond to every call and text. Just know your family and friends are offering their love and support.
Consider reading the Mourner’s Bill of Rights.